Boss admits: “It’s part of the job that people gossip about me.”

Ms. Bechtoldt, you are a professor and have many students who judge you. What do you do when people gossip about you?

I try very consciously not to let everything get to me. As a professor, I am regularly evaluated anyway, formally and informally; that is part of my job. It is important that there are structured channels such as teaching evaluations or feedback from colleagues. I can learn from this. I don’t need to know what people say about me in the cafeteria. And to a certain extent it is also true that people who are completely invisible are rarely talked about. I would find being considered invisible more problematic.

Have the gossips changed due to home office, messenger communication and hybrid teams?

Gossip has become more digital, like our communication as a whole. However, there are no reliable findings as to whether this has increased the frequency. But there seems to be a shift taking place.

What attitude do you recommend managers take when dealing with gossip in the team?

Stay relaxed. We all talk about others constantly, every day, and at the same time we have such an incredibly negative image of those who do it. There is Gossiping Part of human interaction. What matters is how we deal with it.

What do you advise?

Let’s admit that we need it because sometimes we are so full of emotions that we just need to let off steam. People have to process emotions. Gossiping can be constructive because it allows you to sort out your own thoughts and regulate your emotions. Leadership means controlling exactly that.

What is the best way to do this?

Everyone has to agree on how they want to treat each other. And this includes codes of conduct that are written down in black and white. This means: A manager must address and prevent inappropriate gossip. Something like this: “The conversation is going in a direction that is not helpful. Do we want to speak directly to the person concerned?” Sometimes a non-verbal gesture is enough. Not reacting – i.e. turning down the insulting offer – is often effective, because then it simply comes to nothing.

What happens to people when they find out that they are being talked about negatively?

Trust is fragile and complex. We experience hearing negative talk about ourselves as a form of social rejection. And we process this experience in brain regions that are also active during physical pain. A recent longitudinal study also shows that people who experience negative gossip about them doubt and ruminate, which indirectly leads to greater work anxiety.

So negative gossip doesn’t motivate behavior change?

People who hear people talking negatively about them make more effort, but are less interested in working with the blasphemers in the future. It has been proven that they are perceived by colleagues as unsympathetic, less popular and less trustworthy.

What can managers derive from this?

Managers should be much more positive about it present Team members speak, i.e. praise sincerely, and in this way strengthen the feeling of empowerment, motivation and job satisfaction in the team. We find it very pleasant to hear others say positive things about us; it activates reward centers in the brain.

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