Why self-violence can be an act of resistance

Professor Simon, you investigate how people inflict violence on themselves and how this affects communities, states, religious communities and families. Why is violence against oneself a form of resistance?

The actors act in contradiction to an expectation that seems to be a constant across cultures: people want to preserve their lives and avoid pain. Your social environment, whether state or family, does not find a simple answer to the question of why people violate this principle and harm themselves; in historical retrospect, one also thinks of kamikaze pilots or the suicide of the three leading figures of the RAF.

The usual power mechanisms are suspended, because power is generally based on the ability to inflict violence on people. It is not always realized, but the mere option of it gives power to those who have the means to do so. That’s why the police are armed, states are arming, and the stronger ones beat up the weaker ones at school. If someone not only shows no fear of pain, but even commits violence to themselves, they reduce the usual mechanisms to absurdity.

What are typical forms of violence against oneself within families?

Eating, or not eating enough, has always played an important role in families. Anyone who has ever dealt with a family in which a child is on the way to starving himself to death knows the total helplessness of parents. This creates a discrepancy that these parents would not otherwise be aware of: during the day at work, they may themselves act powerfully as CEO of a company or as principal of a school. And in the evening they are completely helpless in the face of the sick child and his self-destructive eating habits.

But there are also more demonstrative forms of self-harm, for example cutting, i.e. hurting yourself with razor blades or something similar. But addiction – the harder the substance, the more – initiates the paradoxical dynamic in families that the relatives seem to be more interested in the physical integrity of the family member than they are themselves.

What does this mean for relatives – and, if necessary, for therapists?

The likelihood of getting involved in power struggles is huge. You try to force him or her to be happy. But that doesn’t work. The result is that relatives and therapists feel helpless and become angry. And that in turn leads to the use of violence. This is the time when you are faced with the dilemma of having to admit your eating-disordered daughter to the clinic for force-feeding in order to save her life, knowing full well that she may blame you for this forever.

You always lose power struggles like this somehow. You can signal that although you cannot prevent someone from taking their own life in the long term, experienced therapists know that it is worth asking their suicidal patients questions such as: “How will your relatives, friends, colleagues react to your suicide?” “Who will come to the funeral?” Or: “When will people forget you…?”

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