When attempting to have a conflict discussion for the first time, you should not start with the “really big” topics. It’s better to practice with something that doesn’t offer a lot of fuel. One person speaks, the other listens carefully and, if necessary, paraphrases what they have heard to ensure that they have understood the other person correctly.
Step 1: Addressing the problem
-
How do I feel about the situation? Am I stressed, overwhelmed, disappointed, angry…?
Step 2: Formulate your own needs
Step 3: Formulate change requests specifically, develop and evaluate possible solutions
-
What exactly do I want from the other person? (For example, globally: “I would like more attention from you in the morning.” – Specifically: “I would like you to answer me when you sit at the table with the newspaper in the morning and I ask you if you would like coffee.”)
Step 4: Negotiation, decision, planning solution steps
What corresponds to the other and doesn’t overwhelm me?
Your feedback on this article to the editors
Article on the topic
“Housekeeping is usually not an issue for men, but a lack of sex is”
What do mountains of laundry have to do with sex? A lot if you listen to Cécile Loetz and Jakob Müller. The two psychoanalysts in conversation
People understand like professionals
Five psychotherapists describe techniques and attitudes to better understand other people. And they explain how we can use them.
The journalist and essayist Katja Kullmann examines her single existence in the overall context of the emancipating woman in politics and history.
