The “inner mother”: 4 exercises for more self-care

The following exercises give you the opportunity to become more aware of the caring parts of your inner mother and to find a competent way to deal with critical and cold parts

1. Get in touch

• First, write down all the people who have supported you in your lifeand the words and sentences they said to you in difficult situations and what lessons you learned from them.

• Now check whether you can use these lessons for yourself; After all, these are valuable experiences that can give you inner support and support if you have problems. What do you gain from these experiences? What are you leaving unused?Important: If you already have a supporting introject, thank it for the work it has already done.

• Look at your list: What qualities or words would you like to add to your inner mother’s repertoire? What do you want to hear when you’re overwhelmed and anxious? Which voice and intonation would be suitable for you?

Tip: You can always repeat the supporting words, filling them with strength and dynamism. You can also imagine the person from whom you would like to hear these words. If you want to hear your own voice, that’s fine too. The main thing is that you regularly give your inner voice more space.

2. Find a protective figure

This is about visualizing protection and support.

First, ask yourself: What kind of support do you receive from outside? What support would you like to feel within yourself? What does feeling inner security and support mean to you?

Now think about what qualities an inner protective figure should have for you: What do you need to feel supported internally: calmness, self-assurance, caring, understanding or something completely different?

Your imagination is required: Close your eyes and imagine your inner protective figure. What does she look like? What qualities does she exude? What feelings do you have when you see them in front of you?

Get in touch: Have a dialogue with your inner protective figure. Talk about your feelings, concerns and needs. Allow her to give you support, comfort and wise advice.

Embody the protective figure: Try to integrate the characteristics of your inner protective figure into your everyday life. How exactly could this be achieved? By repeating calming statements, by breathing consciously in stressful situations or by looking at decisions with confidence? Set something.

3. Explore critical voices

When a critical inner part comes forward, it can be helpful to explore its history with the following questions:

• Did it come about in a very specific life situation that can be specifically named, or rather gradually, almost unnoticed?

Write down the answers and let them sink in. Then consider how much weight you would like to give to this part and whether the protector figure or inner mother can change or balance this critical position. Try it.

4. Create a new image of mother

Creative techniques can help change the inner mother to suit you.

To do this, choose a format and material that feels right for you. It can be a drawing, a collage, a clay model or even text. Use materials you like: paints, crayons, fabric, magazine clippings. If you enjoy writing, write a text that describes your inner mother.

Determine the characteristics of your inner mother. You can also write down your thoughts if that helps, or go with the flow and modify your ideas to suit your needs.

Immerse yourself in the creative process. Take your time to create a picture. Be completely in the here and now. It’s not about creating something perfect, but about finding an expression for your inner world. Let your thoughts and feelings flow and enjoy the moment of connection with yourself. Your image can be abstract or concrete – the important thing is that it reflects the feelings and associations that you want to integrate into your life.

Place the finished image in a visible location or keep it in an album. It should always remind you of your inner support.

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