Why you’re constantly looking at your cell phone – and how to stop it

Allowing yourself to be caught up in the pull of your smartphone is like voluntarily putting on blinders. You miss everything else that’s going on and only see that one thing right in front of you – your cell phone. You take a look at it when it vibrates, when it makes pinging noises, when you sit down for breakfast, when you get out of the car, when you go to the office, enter the elevator, exit the elevator… Because this is one of the most widespread habits in the world, I will use it as an example to illustrate the tools we can use to change such habits

1. Recognize problematic cell phone use

First of all, it’s about recognizing that you’re reaching for your cell phone too often. You won’t be able to avoid confronting yourself about your behavior, and if you don’t, a friend or partner or colleague will most likely do it for you: “Hey, you’re totally addicted – why don’t you just put this thing aside?”

2. Control context

The next action is to control the contexts that trigger and enable cell phone use. The game is very simple: eliminate the stimuli that make you pick up your cell phone. The easiest way to do this is to simply leave your phone behind: just don’t take it with you when you sit down for breakfast or when you take a break from work to drink coffee and eat a donut (we’ll tackle the donut habit later). It will be hard at first, but unless you’re a paramedic, no one will notice that you were unavailable for 15 minutes.

3. Provide friction

You can also create friction that makes it difficult to use your cell phone: Turn off the sound. Turn off your phone. Turn on Do Not Disturb mode so that only certain callers are put through to you. Turning off the notifications means removing the stimuli that trigger people to reach for their cell phone and preventing the activation of the unwanted thought “Quickly check your cell phone.”

You can do even more: Put your cell phone in a zippered bag, for example in your backpack, work bag or handbag. Then you have to fiddle with the zipper and reach into the bag to get it out every time. A simple way to delay and make the habitual use of your phone more frictionless is to simply delete the Facebook or email app on your phone. At the very least, that would mean that you would have to open your browser and type “gmail.com” or “facebook.com” by hand instead of continuing to rely on the smooth usability of the apps that the companies have set up for good reason.

4. Link actions

Another way to make cell phone viewing more costly is to pair your cell phone habit with a new, healthy action. Even if you have reduced the frequency, you will still look at your phone from time to time. So use this persistent (and probably necessary) habit to establish a new habit, one of your own choosing and aligned with your personal goals.

How about calling a family member every time you pick up your cell phone to say hello and have a quick chat? So making one of those calls “for no reason at all” that when you get them just feels nice. This will probably make older family members especially happy. This way you can rekindle some of the connections you almost let fall asleep (ironically because you were on social media too much). If you really stick to this new habit, you’ll think twice about even taking your phone out of your pocket. Sometimes you just don’t want to talk to anyone. This method means that the price of picking up the cell phone increases.

5. Stay consistent

No matter which measure you decide on, stick to it consistently. The change, which is so difficult at the beginning, is gradually automated through repetition. At some point, the new action is the one that comes to mind first. At the same time, the costs of the old, undesirable habit remain high.

6. Simplify actions

You also have the option to simplify other actions. Is there perhaps something you could do quickly instead of looking at your phone? A realistic alternative that, in my experience, really works is this: buy a watch. How often do you take your cell phone out of your pocket just because you want to quickly check what time it is or what date it is, and then you quickly open Facebook because the cell phone is in your hand… And then you quickly check your emails because you see that a few new ones have been added… That’s exactly how it works.

So instead of reaching for your bag, raise your wrist. Buy a watch that you like and that you can show off a bit. Take a colorful watch, a watch with a calculator, a watch with an integrated stopwatch or an old mechanical watch (just not a smartwatch, that would be cheating). The substitution action will minimize the occasions when you get caught up in the pull of the cell phone.

7. Plan rewards

And finally: reward yourself when you don’t look at your cell phone. A very good reward comes to mind: Let’s say you go to a café to sit down for a moment. It’s the afternoon and you’re taking a short break from office work. Of course, this is the perfect moment to take out your phone and read the latest news. But you put it down, it’s stored in the zippered bag, and you’d have to call your aunt if you even wanted to use it. So you have successfully eliminated trigger stimuli and brought opposing forces into action. But if you just sit there pining for your phone, nothing is gained.

So give yourself something nice to do. Give yourself something that has stimulated people for centuries, something perfect to occupy your mind for a few minutes. More than just busy – something that expands your consciousness a little every time. And fills gaps in knowledge. Something that may be useful to you later at dinner because it provided you with an interesting story or gave you an exciting topic to discuss with your family. Something portable and durable. Something that nourishes your whole self. Do you have a good book with you?

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