This sentence by Václav Havel has accompanied me for many years. However, it took on a special depth in the times of crisis in 2022, when a very good friend – psychoanalyst and close companion – sent me this thought in a Christmas letter. He wrote that this sentence motivated him to keep going despite all the crises and not to be discouraged. It also helps if our commitment helps ensure that things happen well.
Today this friend himself is dying. Recently I was able to spend a night by his side. We were both exhausted – he from life, I from accompanying. I held his hand. It was quiet, sad and at the same time peaceful and touchingly close. We didn’t speak much and simply accepted that there was nothing left to solve. And yet these hours were carried by a deep connection.
That night I understood Václav Havel’s sentence in a new way. Hope doesn’t mean things will get easier. But that being there, enduring, being with one another gives meaning.
Exhaustion and sadness cannot be avoided in life. Sometimes they are not overcome, but endured together – and borne. Through proximity. Through humanity. Through meaningful resonance.
Eva Lotta Brakemeier is a qualified musician, psychologist and psychotherapist. Since 2019 she has been a professor of clinical psychology and psychotherapy at the University of Greifswald and director of the Center for Psychological Psychotherapy. Her concern is to effectively contribute psychological knowledge to society and politics – including as President of the German Society for Psychology and member of the Science Council
Your feedback on this article to the editors
Article on the topic
Andreas Maercker: The specialist for existential matters
Andreas Maercker is a renowned trauma researcher – and was himself a political prisoner. He explores how we can cope with bad experiences
Psychotherapy for people with disabilities
When people with limited intelligence become mentally ill, it often manifests itself differently – and psychotherapy also has to take different paths.
Should mentally ill people receive euthanasia?
Theologian André Böhning explains why euthanasia for mentally ill people is particularly controversial.
